Homecoming

It has been a while since my last entry. The fact of the matter is there is much to be seen and done in this place called Singapore. The last week was particularly eventful as something called Chinese New Year was taking place.

The logic of it of course escapes me, as much does in this new world. If the Chinese have a new year different from the normal new year, it would mean there are 2 new years each year, which is frankly a contradiction.

Of course I have come to learn that mysteries abound, as evinced by yet more flat creatures, this time flat red rats who spend all their time engaging in what my Great Uncle Luis called "Smooching".

I am glad to report that my famed nose for money has not deserted me, and i was able to locate many samples, even though they were often cunningly hidden in red packages.

There was however an alarming turn of events on one foraging trip. I was collecting my daily supply of nuts when I was scooped up by one of the Tall Folk and ended up trapped inside a jar for the longest while. Fortunately I was able to call on my knowledge of guerilla tactics learnt during the war (blasted fascists!) to survive and escape the next day.

It has been an eventful last few weeks exploring my new surroundings, but I believe I have had enough excitement for a while, and will be heading back to my fellow gnomes. As a reminder of my adventures I will bring back a Plant of Some Sort. The others will be pleased, even Adolf, though he is a goose-stepping fascist!

But even fascists need friends too, and perhaps I can learn to be a better one.

Adiós for now

Sergio

the rain in spain falls mainly in the plain

Being far from home and other gnomes, i have been recalling my favourite jokes that my cousin Fernando used to tell, such as:

How many gnomes does it take to change a Thingwhichproducesbrightwhitelightwhenitisconnectedtoadeviceproducingelectricpower?

10. One to actually change it, and the rest to fend off The Committee In Charge Of Deciding Whether A Gnomish, And In The Unlikely Event Other Races Succeed In Constructing One, non-Gnomish, ThingWhich Produces Etc. Is To Be Dismounted Clockwise Or Counterclockwise.

Ho Ho!

Odd World

What is this place I find myself in?? There are things afoot that defy all explanation!

For example this poster i came across: nary a beard in sight yet they claim to have solved their hair problems! Such madness i have not known in all my gnomic years.

Worse yet was to follow, as my search for fellow gnomes continued to founder. Instead I found these aberrations....Flat Cows! Despite my best efforts, attempts to obtain milk were wholly unsuccessful.
But I have at least found a place to call my temporary abode. I have still yet to encounter any woodling creatures, though once again there were cats aplenty to cause me no little duress.

I am also hoping to learn more about the factions at war in this new world. If there are fascists about i will hit them in the noggins!

In the meanwhile i must find myself a nice hammock, and possibly some cheese.

Gnollish Sinister Tricks?

After scrapping by on wild flowers the previous day i have found a place of bountiful harvest, known as "NTUC", where there are nuts and berries aplenty! Also it is much cooler inside for some unknown reason, much better suited for gnomic constituitions. *

On a more worrying note, there are signs warning of "GST Profiteering". I hope the G does not stand for gnomes! Giants, perhaps? or Gnolls?

Its an exciting brave new world it seems, but also one fraught with things i do not comprehend!

* I have since learnt that this is due to "air conditioning". A pavolvian taming of the elements! and something to with the warming of mysterious glow balls....

Mystery Boxes

And so it seems the Book was right! As i scribble these notes down in my diary in an internet cafe, they appear inside these boxes as well!

Still some things change whilst others remain the same, as my great uncle used to say. The Tallfellows still do not notice me for most part, except for very young children and those who believe in us fairy folks. As for the rest they go about their business to and fro oblivious to our presence.

in any case i am rather hungry now and must seek out some food and beverage.

Day Two

This weather! Hats and Beards don't seem to be the best idea, but a gnome must keep up with tradition!

Have been searching for a suitable garden, but have failed so far to locate any fellow gnomes.

Perusing the Dangerous Book of Gnomes again I notice that it seems more voluminous than before, with extra chapters on new fangled things.

One covers something called the Digital Age, and speaks of mysterious thing called the Internet. Apparently any entries a gnome jots down in his diary will appear simultaneously on something called a Blog. Perhaps its a cross between a log and a bog. I suspect there are magicks involved!

So i must now seek out something called an internet cafe to learn more of this new world.

metagnomics 2

After consulting the Dangerous Book of Gnomes, I am perhaps closer to positing a theory of my current predicament.

According to chapter 37, there is a phenomena amongst gnomes sometimes known as Transgnomic Travel, wherein a gnome's spirit is released and roams the earth after his physical shell has been destroyed or abandoned, to settle into a new one when the chance arrives.

Was this how I ended up in the Here and Now?

My first memory begins in a garden of the Goytisolo family in Spain, and the last before the Strange Gap (as I have named it) is the arrival of men in jackboots to arrest the senior Goystisolo.

Fascists! Or again: maybe Republicans.

Its all a lot for a Gnome to take in. Meanwhile I have fashioned for myself a fishing rod and am looking for suitable material for a proper pipe.